Monday, 6 December 2010


Miss Dover fell down the stairs today. She was attempting to ascend to the top floor of Jobbington Community College (our place of work). The stairwell gets progressively hotter the higher one climbs and it has been suggested that it be used as a challenge in the next series of Superstars. She has fainted before while making this ascent and had made representations to the powers that be to be allowed to use lifts. The lifts, however, tend to break down if used and her request was denied. So today, within reach of the summit she passed out and fell down fracturing her rib. Claims Direct are camped like paparazzi outside our house as I type this report. They laid flowers at the door an hour ago and occasionally take a peek through the letterbox. All this could be some sort of karmic revenge. Miss Dover is in the process of making a number of films and photographs in places where such activities are strictly banned. Yesterday I was inveigled into carrying a small video camera around a very dark house. I was so rigid with fear of discovery that I shuffled round as if a ferret had managed to get halfway up my trouserleg and I, understandably, was trying not to enrage it. I will post some stills tomorrow when my Internet returns to functionality (if I survive my possibly litigious meeting with HR)

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