My mood is murderous so I have been spending my time wisely with my Grants for the Arts Application. Tricky things like making the figures balance and finding a place to declare a need for £1000000 in gold bullion. I settled my fee at £200,000 which matched the cost for disposal of all the bodies - it seemed neat. But, as often happens, when I discovered a short fall in the budget for venue rental it was my fee that had to suffer. Last time I made an arts council application I ended up with nothing at all (bar a few goodies I squirreled away). The hardest part was condensing my proposal into 50 words:
This application is for funds to support the humane cull of thousands of artists. It will take place in London and regional centres and also include a Gala event at which the top 100 Uk artists will be slain during a fake "This is Your Life" hosted by Michael Aspel.
(I do worry the assessment of my form may end upon reading but was pleased that it was exactly 50 words long)
These questions (or rather my answers) may also be bad for my cause:
Number of performance or exhibition days 1
Number of new products or commissions 0
Period of employment for artists (in days) 1
Number of sessions for education, training or participation. 0 (although maybe I should count the 'events' as participatory?)
Well whatever the result, I am nearly there, a bit of checking over and supporting evidence to upload and it will be ready to send.