Disposal

After a light breakfast of toast, one slice with peanut butter one with butter, and a cup of Darjeeling tea. I settled down to read the morning paper. The most note worthy headline being "ELO Cellist Killed by Bale of Hay". Wondering for a while if this was code I shaved and showered and sat down to a little research. Being a neat person I decided to concentrate first on the disposal of bodies. I decided to work with a figure based upon 1000 artists as this could be easily factored for higher numbers. Bodybags were easy to come by from the US. A standard bag comes to $15 each. At current exchange rates this leads to a cost of $15000 = £9,851.61.

There are many waste disposal firms based in London. I decided to go with AnyJunk. They quote costs for removal at £309.03 for a 2 tonne truck load. I calculated that regional aspiring artists tend to have a low bodyweight due mainly to fashion and poor nutrition and decided to go with an average of 65KG per artist. 100o artists would generate an estimated 65 tonnes of waste necessitating 33 truck loads, leading to a grand total of £10206.90. Thus total disposal costs would be £20,058.51. At roughly £20 per artist this seems very economical.