Invasive Proceedures

Received an alarming email this evening just as I was unwinding with a vodka tonic. I have been watching "The Wire" on DVD. In the last episode there was a scene in which the entire script consisted of the word "fuck" and only the word "fuck". It crescendoed with the line "motherfucker..... fuckme" The scene, as I read this email to Miss Dover, ran in much the same vein. Ms Chan seems to have made me an appointment with some sort of "Art Doctor" who looks like Derren Brown in disguise. I am not a great fan of doctors or the many humiliations they carry with them. Is Dr Clarke a gp of art I wonder? or something more sinister? Am I displaying a bond-like primal fear here? I include details from the email below with my childishly fearful annotations in brackets.

Dear artists,

Just emailing you to introduce myself and to let you know that we are organising an event called: (my heart-rate rose here and cold pins and needles spread across the nape of my neck)

UnSpooling / Artists’ Clinic
Cornerhouse, Galleries 2 & 3, Sat 02 Oct 15.00 – 17.00 / FREE

Artists’ Clinic (let me tell you here that I have seen an episode of something called "embarrassing bodies" on television and I was not impressed) consists of quick fire diagnostics and ‘artistic examinations’ posing questions about the production, identity and normal experience of cinema. As well as offering facts about the artists and their work, audiences can make appointments for their own personal check-up – a chance for a more in-depth conversation with artists in UnSpooling. (if I haven't drunk myself into a coma)

As some of you may already know (I did not know this. Who knew this? Why wasn't I told? Actually I know why I wasn't told) this event will be facilitated by Chris and we hope you can all take part. At some point, Chris may be in contact
with you to ask you some questions as this forms part of his role as ‘art doctor' where he will be providing quick fire diagnostics of your artworks. (here I know I will roll over like a puppy)

We are currently in the process of finalising the finer details of the event, but please find below a rough schedule, that may change slightly, depending on what Chris decides.
(great let's do it)